Why
is it so important?
These
are all valid questions. Scripture tells us that we are to make our marriage
work. Marriage is HARD work. Marriage is not 50/50 like people think it is.
Marriage is 101/101. Yes, you read that right.
Give 101% and expect in return to receive 95%. Sadly, young people go
into a marriage for the fairytale wedding and not really look for the hard
spots that marriage will bring.
Why
is it important?
God
did not join two people together as one for it to be broken apart. If a couple
claim to be born again Christians it isn’t something to be taken lightly.
Scripture tells us that we are to work very hard to keep the marriage intact.
1
Corinthians 7:10-16
10: “Unto the married I
command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart form her husband:
11: But and if she departs,
let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the
husband put away his wife.
12: But the rest speak I, not
the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to
dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13: And the woman which hath a
husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not
leave him.”
This is why it’s so important. Especially if
children are involved.
14:
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife
is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean: but now they are
holy.
15: But if the unbelieving
depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases:
but God has called us to peace.
16: For what knowest thou, O
wife, weather thou save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou
shalt save thy wife?
People tell me, “We have separated because of the
children.” Unless there is physical or
mental abuse happening in the home, it is not because of the children. The
children are being used as a scape goat in the situation. Leaving a wife or
husband because of the children is wrong. Period. No where in Scripture does it tell us to leave
our spouse. Even Jesus Christ Himself was asked a question about leaving your
spouse. Please read this correctly. It don’t mean that only the men are at
fault, women can do the same thing.
Matthew
19:3-9
3: The Pharisees also came unto
him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his
wife for every cause?
4: And he answered and said unto
them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male
and female,
5: And said, For this cause shall
a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain
shall be one flesh?
6: Wherefore they are no more
twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7: They say unto him, Why did
Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8: He saith unto them, Moses
because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but
from the beginning it was not so.
9: And I say unto you, Whosoever
shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
commiteth adultery: and whosoever marry her which is put away doth commit
adultery.
Jesus said that is wasn’t meant for divorce. Not
from the beginning. But when pressed on what Moses allowed, he told them, Sorry
guys. Moses allowed you to do this because of the HARDNESS of your hearts. Just
because it was allowed don’t make right. The Father in heaven didn’t want a
couple to divorce. Marriage is hard.
Is it worth trying
again even if the divorce proceedings have already started?
Yes it is worth trying. The marriage isn’t
terminated yet. Any marriage is worth trying. I get it, some people just want
out. They really don’t care to try. But it is so worth it especially if
children are involved. I wonder if those who don’t want to work on the marriage
really truly don’t get it.
Working on the marriage means, get counseling. And
don’t expect to have the other person change. You are working on yourself. I
have seen some people who wants to be right all the time and they are never wrong.
That they are not the problem. They want the other person in the marriage to
make all the changes. It will not work. Those are the ones who will not try to
work on anything because they don’t see themselves as wrong.
Even Christians fall into this category. Some just
can’t wait to be single again. They will use the excuse that “The Lord knows,
he will forgive me for the divorce because he loves me.” Yes he will forgive but what if the Trumpet
sounds before they can ask for forgiveness? I don’t know the answer to this
really, but just that I’m scared that the person won’t make it for the hardness
of their hearts.
What
about other family members?
Yes,
What about other family members? It is not their RIGHT nor PLACE to get
involved in a marriage they are not partners in themselves. I’m talking about
parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc. They can give advice if asked,
but it should stop there. Stepping into another’s marriage because you are not
happy with your child’s spouse is the wrong thing to do. Not allowing your
child to have a relationship with their spouses family is wrong. How does that
happen? Keeping your child so busy with your family things that they cannot
spend time with the other side of this new little family. It really isn’t
anyone else’s place to but into a marriage.
Is
it really anyone else’s business if we reconcile?
No.
NO. NO! It is no one else’s business except the couple. Not the parents. Not
the siblings. Not the grandparents. No one ELSE. The enemy wants to destroy a
marriage. Satan is out to destroy anything that God made. And He made marriage.
If the enemy can get a couple to divorce, he can hurt so many people with the
one act of divorce. He thrives on the loss of love that happens, the distrust,
the hurt, also the hatred that can come about in a divorce. Marriage isn’t
easy. It’s a lot of work. But it is so worth it.
